• leena dhawan

The Parenting Limits!

This incidence happened few years ago. Son of a very high profile and well-to-do Marathi couple committed suicide…it was quite a puzzling case as there was no obvious reason noticed by anyone or any note left by him.

Many allegations started ... as usual, many tried blaming the high-profile parents for not paying attention to the child.

After that, the boy's father had openly written his thoughts in one of the reputed Marathi newspaper - Loksatta. He also tried to answer the allegations made about them, about the home environment and their relationship with their son.

It is difficult to say how successful that endeavor was, but one thing that got reiterated that day was… if the children fail or do well; the society and the parents also consider themselves “FULLY” responsible for it .

Probably this is one reason why “Parenting” and “Stress” go hand in hand.

This write up is an attempt to convey the an interesting reference I came across on this subject to the readers.

Recently, I read an article by the parenting expert - John Rosemand.

According to him, parents are "ONE OF THE MANY INFLUENCERS" in the life of a child. Numerous things like teachers, friends, social situations happening around, opportunities available, etc., make an impression on the individual. But above all, one thing that matters the most is - THINKING OF THE PERSON HIMSELF.

Take a look around us and you will see many examples of people who were born into a good family but could not achieve much. The son or daughter of a great actor or a doctor or a leader could not reach great heights despite the best environment and efforts by parents.

In contrast, those who made history were born of ordinary parents.

Parent’s influence definitely counts in one’s life. But, that does not mean parents can provide solution to each problem that the child faces or they should take blame for every mistake that child has made and consider that they failed to be good parents.

When parents stop taking on this so-called "responsibility", much of their stress will be reduced.

I remember this is a scene a movie Oh My God. The protagonist Paresh Rawal i.e. Kanjibhai has some goons following him and Krishna i.e. Akshay Kumar comes to his aid as a biker. After taking Kanjibhai away from the goons, Krishna says to him, “If you take a left turn, you will reach home. So you may carry on. ”

Kanjibhai requests him to drop him off at doorstep.

Krishna smiles and says; "My job is to just show the way. It's up to you to decide whether to go for it or not and how to reach your destination. "

If the God himself wants to limit his role as a GUIDE only;

how can we parents expect us to be anything beyond that?

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